Best Friends Forever

Best friend forever (plural: best friends forever): A person who is an especially close and trusted friend over a long time period.

other definitions:
1) Used by someone to make you feel special, when really they have 50 best friends.
2) Used to obtain food, emotional support, financial support etc…
3) Used to sustain genuine strong friendships.

“You are my BEST friend. I will always care about you. No matter how long we don’t speak for or whatever happens between us, I’m always going to be there for you”. Isha cries softly as she remembers Gagan’s words. As she stares at her monitor, his empty promises of a life long friendship evoke a deafening cry inside her head.

“Gagan… How could you treat me like this? How could you be so insensitive?” Isha wept. “You know how crushing my anxiety is. I feel like my life is spiraling out of my control. I feel like the room is spinning and I can’t breathe. Please! Please just try to be kind with me”

“I’m tired of listening to your excuses Isha. I’m not interested in talking anymore. I have tried to understand your illness, but you can’t use your panic attacks as an excuse to not be functional”. Gagan slams the door on her face, leaving her feeling shattered inside.

Isha felt the ground beneath her feet shift. Or maybe she was just dizzy. She couldn’t tell. How is that possible? After all those promises of being by her side, after constantly making her feel like he needed her support and he couldn’t do without her, how did Gagan suddenly decide to throw her aside, making her feel more broken and rejected than she did before their conversation?

She flashed back to the time when Gagan needed her, having broken up after a long relationship.

“Isha! I can’t breathe! I need to see you right now! I need to talk to you. You’re the only one that understands me. Please please come meet me”

Panicked Isha had run out of her hostel to meet her friend.

“Oh, Gagan. You don’t seem okay!” she had hugged him, trying to squeeze whatever positivity she could into her embrace.

“She left me. she said I suppress her. Tell me, when have I EVER suppressed anyone?”

Isha looks away and bites her lip, uncomfortable.

“She said that I didn’t appreciate her opinions. What opinions! All I asked her to do was wear a Kurti to the concert. What’s wrong with that?! It was for her own good.. You know these cheapos in college right? If she wore an off-shoulder and went, what would everyone say?”

Isha shook her head grimly. She remembered the time when Gagan blamed her for trying to shed light on his relationship. He hadn’t spoken to her for two years after that fight. She didn’t want to get into it again. After all, it was starting to feel like, any attempt at making Gagan realize the impact of his actions would only put their friendship in jeopardy.

“Gagan, I’m sorry.. but if she’s saying she feels suppressed, then are you sure you’ve done nothing to upset her?” She pokes him

“Of course not!” he defended. “She never said anything to me before. I would keep telling her to make more friends. I pushed her to hang out with my friends. But she would just get mad. She’d say I’m forcing her to do things she doesn’t want to do. I was just encouraging her to be social! I don’t get it. Why does she keep saying that I don’t try to understand?”

As Isha’s eyes flashed back to the computer monitor. She remembered how oblivious Gagan had seemed to his own girlfriend’s needs. Anytime anyone else messed up, he was ready to stab them with his righteous sword. Maybe twist it even, to ensure the person feels pain. But when it came to himself, he’d hide behind his shield, shouting cries of innocence. She felt like he reached out to her only when he needed her emotional support. She had said that she wanted to kill herself. And all he could think of was to say:

“I’m tired of listening to your excuses Isha”…

She slams her laptop shut with rage. “Hypocrite!” She screams.

Some best friend he’s been.

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